I didn't sleep a wink last night - which is actually keeping with tradition with Sean and Kai as I didn't sleep pre their c-section either. Only natural - going into theatre is not a typical day in my diary. We have to be in the hospital for 7 am and I am so grateful that I am scheduled first on the list for surgery at 830. I have to admit,that I am such a cry baby when it comes to my family. As I am wheeled towards theatre and looking up at the strip lighting on the ceiling passing by, I get scared that I am going into a situation where I am completely relying on others abilities to deliver my baby safely and to get me home safely as well. As the tears rolled down the side of my face, this random person started drying them with an auld woollie blanket. Seriously, where are the days gone that your tears would be gently wiped with a kleenex. Nope, I was snapped out of it rather quickly as I had my face exfoliated with the blanket!! It actually reminded me of something I had promised myself. I was in bits when Kai was born, however, I had a South African delivering me and an American anaesthetist who really didn't care what I did. However, I know from experience in Hong Kong that professionals get uncomfortable when they see you cry (hence wipe tears away quickly with auld blanket). I knew that I was responsible for how the atmosphere was going to be in the theatre, and knew if I was a weeping mess, they wouldn't take me seriously and would probably take Bryo to NICU. So I composed myself, cracked a few jokes and lightened the room. I had done my research and was told the protocol or requesting a cleft orthodontic surgeon was through my obstetrician. I called for her - her name Dr Cheng Mei Chi, never saw or heard of her before but I love her name. Requested a bedside assessment from a orthodontic cleft surgeon and then told her my son was not to be brought to NICU. Saw a nurse, told her, my son is not to be brought to NICU. Saw another person walking past, I said excuse me, my son is not to be brought to NICU. The anaesthetist says, he is the cleaner! Ah well, he also knows not to take my son to NICU. Mark arrives and comments on how good the drugs must be because I am so composed - all an act darling, all an act!
Thankfully the c-section was uneventful. I was waiting, waiting, waiting for the first roar. A roar to let me know all is OK. My goodness, he did me proud, because he came out screaming in anger as anyone would if they were evicted from their home without notice and had a random stranger stick a suction down their throat. Our Son, our angel that we waited for years to meet was finally here. Ultan Jian Tor born 30th November in Hong Kong, wieghing 3.16kg. Our son did his agphar test before we were allowed to see him and he did great. He screamed in protest throughout to whole ordeal and eventually he was brought to meet his Mommy and Daddy. I wanted to wrap my arms around him but they had me tied to the table like Jesus on the cross! The moment he heard Mark and I speak to him he calmed and looked into our eyes. He was perfect. Parents who are diagnosed with cleft babies will be anxious to know what is it like to meet your baby who has a cleft for the first time. I can honestly say that his cleft is only a minute part of him as a whole. Since the 20 week scan I spent so much of my days worrying about the medical aspect. That worry completely disappeared once I saw him for myself and I knew that everything would be OK. When the nurse held him up, I straight away acknowledged in my head that he had a complete unilateral cleft lip and palate but that took about a second before I went to notice his stunning almond shape eyes, his beautiful skin tone, extremely cute ears, his hairstyle - very similar to his Grandad's, his hands are like his Nana's. He was - he is gorgeous, he is perfect. A mothers instinct tells me, he will be a joker, be one of the last at the bar, an excellent reader of people, he will beat you at poker, he will like music and will have a guitar in his room.
The nurse took him away and we didn't' know where and nobody would tell us. Damn Mark, they are taking him to NICU. Mark chased them down only to find the Baby Doctor in another room doing her assessment on him. Thankfully she agreed he is healthy and Mark got to spend father/son time with his third boy. Once I was in the recovery room I finally got to hold my baby who just snuggled into my neck and dosed off to sleep. I was completely in heaven. I had this complete contented feeling rush over me and it is still with me so much so when Mark asked me what I wanted for Xmas, I told him I wanted for nothing, I had everything - really girls, I said that!!! Years I have imagined this moment but having gone through the most testing pregnancy, the reward is worth every heartache moment I had. He was in my arms finally and I knew, I just knew in my heart that everything would be OK.
We arrived back at the ward at 5 to noon, I was put in bed and then Mark was in to help and gave Ultan his first bottle. All of the anxious hours I spent worrying about Ultan feeding were dimished with a gulp of his bottle. He is a drinker and he drank his first bottle with no difficulty but than again he is Irish! Mark was getting ready to bring Ultan to the nursery for his bath - we were told it was against Hospital policy for a parent to bath their child in the nursery...really!!! So I request a basin with water and was told that it was against hospital policy to give water and basin to patients.......(deep breath - choose your battles and this was not one worth fighting). I said OK, we can wait until we get home to bath Ultan but I informed the staff that I didn't want a stranger to give Ultan his first bath. It would be his father who would do this which made for much laughter amongst the staff as they behaved like they had never heard of Daddy being involved with his baby. Mark left after visiting hours and a nurse came and started wheeling Ultan away within minutes of Mark's departure stating hearing test was the reason - being bed bound I had not choice but to let Ultan go. 10 minutes later Ultan return spick and span after been bathed. I should have said it was against my religion to have a stranger bath my son for the first time....... however, we choose our battles! On, he passed the hearing test too, apparently...
Throughout the day medics were saying that they had a lactation specialist coming to see me to help me. Great, I thought as I was not strong enough yet to sit up to feed him. She arrived 9 hours after Ultan was born with a cup.
Me: Where are you going with the cup?
Nurse: We are going to feed your baby
Me: Why are you using a cup?
Nurse: Because your baby has a cleft
Me: Are you serious - what century are you in?! My baby is drinking from a bottle. How many cleft babies have you seen?
Nurse: I have never seen a cleft baby but I have read about them in books
Me............................ I could have got frustrated but I was actually angry at Queen Mary Hospital for putting her in this position. She was the specialist that I heard about all day but has never been trained. She could very easily be trained and then all the healthy babies would not have to be sent to NICU. She was mortified. I thanked her of coming to see me but I was doing fine.
A midwife arrived on hearing what happened and told me she was able to feed Ultan and she went off and got a syringe to feed him. Jaysus, what is it with the hospital and apparatus to feed new borns. She admitted that in all the years she worked in QMH, she has never seen a cleft baby return to the post natal ward. She confirmed that cleft babies are usually sent to NICU where they are tube fed if needed.... The heart warming thing about this is that both of them were genuinely interested in how I fed Ultan and some nurses came to watch as they had never been shown how to feed. I find this sad and wrong that I gave birth to Hong Kong's teaching hospital and they do not supply the education/training for one of the most common congenital abnormalities founds in babies. Especially as Asians are more prone to clefts you would think that Hong Kong would be the leading Asian city on cleft care! To my knowledge in 2011 125 babies were born in Hong Kong with a cleft. Queen Mary deals with approx 20 - 25% so if these figures are correct over 20 babies were probably sent to Intensive Care and separated from their Moms unnesscesarily!
Remember when I requested an orthodontic cleft surgeon - well a sweet girl popped her head through the curtain and I started telling her that I wanted Ultan assessed for a NAM. I will write in further details later what a NAM is but in short it is a 12 week orthodontic treatment for babies with cleft. She looked so confused that we googled NAM and showed it to her. She was still lost. Turned out she was a dentist - oh for -------- goodness sake, my baby doesn't have any teeth! She informs us that the cleft orthodontic surgeon doesn't do rounds on a Friday. Are you serious - I had requested my c-section to be on a Monday or Tuesday so I would have access to consultants but was assured when my date was changed to Friday that all specialist would be available to me. Well, the first one that I looked for doesn't do rounds on a Friday..... So we yet again turned to London and got a consultation with one of the lead orthodontic cleft surgeons from Guys and St Thomas in London who kindly helped us. Believe me, I was furious lying in a bed of the Hong Kong teaching hospital, having to rely on the goodness of a surgeon from another public hospital in another country to support us on what we need to do to help Ultan because the orthodontic cleft team in Hong Kong which is probably a few floors away don't do rounds on Friday - none of them do - so apparently, one should not go to QMH for orthodontic treatment on a Friday. Seriously frustrated Mommy. (since this, we met with the Head of Dentristry, Antonio Tong who informed me that QMH does not have an orthodontic department - could have been informed when I was requesting an orthodontist! - request a meeting with Antonio Tong, he is head of Dentistry and my initially meeting with him was very pleasant. I hope that he will be the one working with Ultan in the future)
On the plus, I got a visit from Dr George Li, consultant plastic surgeon. (We had been informed during my pregnancy that he was head of the CLAPS (Cleft Lip and Palate) team, however, the day before I delivered Ultan I was informed he is not so right now, we don't know who heads up the Cleft Team at QMH). I didn't' expect to see him. Actually I woke up from a nap to see him there standing beside Ultan. He had a pleasant smile on his face, had a quick look at Ultan, said he would see me in two weeks. I stopped him from leaving and asked him about a NAM. But, he wanted to wait and talk to me in two weeks but did let me know that he was not in favor of NAM treatment for a unilateral cleft and like that he was gone.
That night, like his brothers, Ultan stayed awake for alot of the night, taking a few cat naps, during the night but mostly was chatting throughout the night. I wish I could understand the stories he was telling me. Seán was the exact same 6 years ago and has never shut up since and we love him for it. I hope Ultan is going to be a story teller like his brother - he certainly has started that way!
The next morning also saw me entering my 32nd hour of being starved and as I had the drama of terminating the childminder, I hadn't eaten the previous evening so technically I hadn't eaten for over 40 hours. I was starving and can honestly say that I have never felt so hungry since I did a 24 hour fast for Concern when I was a teenager! The staff would not even allow water and considering my drip had fallen out the previous day, I was technically been starved. The worst part was that I was not allowed pain killers while I was not allowed water. I did my best at begging and had actually started asking for pain relief at 3pm the previous day. But throughout the night and the following morning, I felt extremely uncomfortable, the worst of all my 3 c-sections. With the other 2 c-secitons, staff made sure I had no discomfort but QMH, I was starved and was not allowed pain relief while being starved - vicious vicious circle. So, at around 9AM I woke up from a nap with Ultan in my arms and I saw a vision at the end of my bed. Any of my Irish friends will understand when I say that I instantly knew it was from Yvonne. Yvonne is from Cork in Ireland and she is our Nigella Lawson in Hong Kong. She is a genius with food. This picnic bag was literally my life line but damn, it was out of my reach and I didn't have the strenght to get to it. This was an emergency or at least my body reacted that way and automatically pressed the nurse bell 3 times! Ultan was put back in his cot, the bag was passed to me, the curtain was pulled and I was transported to the Ritz as I tucked in to Irish Breakfast Tea and assortment of homemade scones along with other goodies. It was just heaven to have food again. My doctor arrived at 10 and informed that she would start me on small amounts of water and if I did OK I would be allowed eat that evening. I smirk as I informed her of my Irish Breakfast and sounded rather assertive when I requested pain relief NOW! Acting shocked she wanted to know who would allow me to eat - Girl, surgery was over 24 hours ago, fasting began midnight previous, how long do you need to starve a patient for - SERIOUSLY!
As you can see from above, we had nothing to worry about with Ultan. He was feeding well and doing everything else babies should do. So, it was music to my ears when I was told I would be discharged just 48 hours after surgery - YAY - we are going home!!!
