Thursday, 15 November 2012

One for the Album.....? ....By Eimhear


I got it in my head that I wanted to have a 4D picture of Bryo for our album but also to show other parents who have been diagnosed.  I asked our consultant at QMH but she declined to give us one so Dr Edmund Hon arranged for us to meet with Dr Lam Yung Hang.  I assumed that we would arrive, see Bryo, picture would be printed and I would be out of his office in 10 minutes - how wrong was I.  Dr Lam did a complete scan and attempted to get a 4D facial picture of Bryo but Bryo was having none of it.  But Dr Lam was having none of it either and wasn't willing to give up on getting the picture which I really appreciated.  We kept on taking breaks, I was given numerous chocolate bars to eat (not that I complained), Kai was given the same amount.  In total I was in his office for just under 3 hours.......  and NO, I didn't get a picture to show you.  I got it, Bryo wants his privacy.  The poor boy has been watched and poked from the moment we knew he existed that maybe he was saying enough was enough.

Two items that Dr Lam did confirm was he didn't believe the baby had duplex kidney but either a blockage on entering the bladder on the left side or reflux on the left side.  He was very reassuring that it wasn't serious and that worse case scenario key hole surgery would have to be performed when Bryo was about 6 months old - seriously another surgery - are you kidding!.  The other matter he confirmed was that Bryo has a cleft palate.  It was something we knew likely, 70% likely actually but I had hoped, prayed, wished, that the palate would not be involved because if the palate is involved most likely the avelor is involved and all of this involves more surgeries.

I can't lie, I felt like I was hit by a bus with this information.  It floored me and I was thrown into complete grief for days.  It was at the forefront of my mind and I just did not want to deal with the day.  What genes had we given our boy for him to have to go through all of this?  Why has he to through this?  I just wanted to be able to take all of his future pain so he would never have to experience this but for now we are looking at 3 surgeries in Bryo's first year of life and I am devastated by this.

Mark, as always,  trying to be confident upbeat about this latest news.  The motto is "we deal" and yes we will face and deal with whatever is thrown at us.  He may be trying to verbalize his confidence, his eyes tell a different story and I know he is devastated as well.  He hasn't swam all week since we found out and he is a man who loves to swim.  But lets be honest, if you are going to be broken then I think news that your child needs numerous surgeries will break you.  For I have allowed myself to grieve this information and have come out the other end ready to be with my Son on his journey whichever route it takes.

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