Lip repair!

Lams of Hong Kong are like O'Briens of Ireland - they are everywhere and Ultan's cleft team are no exception.

Ultan's Team

• Plastic Surgeon - Dr LK Lam
• Anesthetist - Dr CS Lam
• Pediatrician - Dr CC Lam

with me?!

The last time I spoke to Dr Lam Lai Kun before the surgery, I told him to get a good night's sleep.  He laughed at me mothering him but little did he know that I actually wanted to ask him was he partying over the weekend, not to drink alcohol (I could do that for both of us), eat a good breakfast, and make peace with everyone before he came into theatre.  I restrained myself and just told him to got to bed early!

Sunday night and Monday morning were as if I was being electrocuted in my stomach with the electrodes pulsing through every nerve.  I was sick to my core for having my wee man go through this surgery.  My emotional side wanted to run away with him, for who was I to change his appearance, but my rational side knew this was Ultan's journey and in order for him to speak and eat properly he would have to have his lip repaired.

Needless to say, arriving at the pediatric ward in Adventist hospital was nothing but a bag of nerves.  The team visited us.  I reminded LK Lam to try and save Ultan's Cupid's bow and off he went to get in his scrubs.

Ultan having his very last thumb sucking with his cleft lip

745am we were escorted to the 8th floor to where Ultan's lip repair would be conducted.  For an 8 week old baby who is in the midst of being obsessive with lights, bringing him into an Operating Theatre was the equivalent to Disney World for him.  His wide smile gaped open as his head went around in circles for which light would he would start with first.  I felt like traitor seeing his joy but knowing what was going to happen within minutes.

I was an emotional mess.  To distract myself a little while Ultan was busy checking our the lighting system, I checked out the team.  The atmosphere between the team was extrmely relaxed.  Although this is Dr Lam Lai Kun's territory, his OT nurse (wish I knew her name) came across gentle and caring but would have everyone whipped into shape in an instant.  CS Lam, was towards my left preparing the gas mask.  He has a posture that if he were an English man you could imagine him wearing a tweed waist coat, smoking a pipe dispensing his worldly knowledge while walking in the garden.  He brings a bit of character to the theatre.  And then there is LK Lam.  A Plastic Surgeon by day but I am sure he was a rocker in a previous life.  Maybe he is in this life!!  I was allowed to stay with Ultan until he slept and needless to say it was horrific having to walk away from him.

See you in 2 hours was the last thing I heard and Mark and I went back to the room to wait and wait and wait.  We walked the room, picked up a paper, left down the paper. Picked up a book, left down the book.  2 hours came and 2 hours passed and our anxiety was filling up with no word from the theatre.  Finally after 3 hours we were called to recovery to find a very relaxed CS Lam and OT nurse.  I know and understand that this is their bread and butter but little do they know how close I felt to being admitted to the heart ward waiting for news on Ultan.  LK Lam met us and was extremely pleased with Ultan and with the repair.

For parents who are diagnosed or are about to go through a lip repair with their child, this is the moment that is written about a lot.  Meeting your baby for the first time with their second smile.  For me, I froze, I was numb.  The nurses told me to go ahead and pick Ultan up but I didn't know how.  He was attached to a drip and a heart monitor and had arm restraints on.  A parents job after the surgery is to cuddle, sooth and also to protect the wound.  I was so scared of all of the above.  Mark just jumped in and was immediately attached.  I was happy for Daddy to take over until he had to go to work (someone has to bring home the bacon!).  He put Ultan in my arms and bam, I was on my own.  It was an awkward afternoon because I was aware my son was in my arms but the baby in my arms didn't look anything like my wee man.  I know some readers may find this cold of a mother but I felt detached, maybe not detached - probably numb would be a better way to describe how I was feeling.  I felt like a babysitter rather than a mother.  That was until around 5pm as I moved my arm to check the time, Ultan woke up, the sedation had worn off and, wow,  his ocean blue eyes just drew me into him and he made his apptly timed sound of awwwooooo.  This was the moment, the line when I finally said goodbye to Ultan's first smile and embraced his second smile for it was Ultan and once I recognised him through his eyes, I finally realised it was my wee man in my arms!

Guess who got his first second smile - well it wasn't his Mommy who had rocked him all night.  8am day 1 post op Ultan chatting and cooing, smiled at the man who gave him his new smile.  LK Lam had the privilege of receiving it and it is a beautiful smile.

Day 1 post op

The rest of our stay in hospital was thankfully uneventful.  It was very much supporting Ultan through his recovery.  I am of course certain that I will soon have Michelle Obama's upper arms for Ultan's post op care calls for a lot of lifting Ultan in the air for he loves that weightless feeling!

Day 2 post op.  What do you think of his new smile?

So, here we are.  For all parents who feel like their heart is breaking having their baby go through a lip repair.  Well, 5 days on we are at home surprisingly back in the same routine as pre op.  Family life has resumed, homework has to be done, dinner has to be prepared and movie nights have to be organised and Ultan is back where he belongs, amidst his family.  As for introducing Seán and Kai to Ultan's new smile.  We brought them to the hospital, they ran into the room "Hi Ultan", kissed him on the forehead and proceeded to explore the hospital room, for to them it doesn't matter to them what smile their brother has.  He is, has and always will be our wee Ultan, our wee Ulsterman!

Just have to go through this again in 6 months when Ultan's palate is being repaired!

PS  We thank all of you for all your good wishes.  Mark and I read every message that was sent to us.  Also, thank you friends for the delivery of caffeine during my stay  (for those who don't know, Adventists don't serve caffeine in their hospital!).